THE FATHER: Fighting To Hold Onto Who He Was

The brilliance — and terror — of Florian Zeller’s The Father is that we’re living inside the mind of an aging man losing his identity to dementia. Watching from the outside is painful enough — I know, I was that daughter too. But to be the one losing your grip on who you are is truly heartbreaking.

Reality blurs. Time is not static. Past and present bleed into each other. People are not who they seem — confused with memory, fantasy, and warring parts of The Father himself. Zeller is a keen observer of a devastating disease that no one ever wants a loved one to face.

The story begins with Anne (Olivia Colman) calling, “Dad? Dad? What are you doing? What happened?”

Anthony (Anthony Hopkins) replies, feigning innocence:
“Nothing… I don’t even know who that lady is or what she was doing here.”

When Anne explains, “She’s here to help you,” he responds — irritated, defensive, fighting for independence:
“I don’t need her. I don’t need anyone.”

And with that, we begin our journey inside Anthony’s deteriorating identity and fragile hold on memory and time. We’re as confused about what’s happening as he is.

A “Stolen” Watch & the Confusion of Time

Anthony is suspicious of the woman sent to help him. And he’s suspicious of Anne. Paranoia is part of losing your grip on memory and time. Someone must be doing something to him — that’s how it feels.

He becomes certain the caregiver is stealing his watch.

Time itself is being stolen by dementia. And it’s the disorientation around time we’re forced to experience with him:
“She stole my watch. She set a trap. It’s nowhere to be found…”

What else is he to think when everything of who he was is slipping away?

Moments later he emerges, whistling, strapping the watch onto his wrist — trying to hide the breach in time, memory, and reality.

We begin to see how bad it truly is. Anne tells him he needs help. She’s met someone and is moving to Paris. He responds cruelly:
“Oh, that’s why you’re so keen on a nurse living with me. The rats are leaving the ship.”

He feels abandoned. Old feelings return when you feel helpless. He’s young. He’s old. He’s independent. He’s confused. The past collapses into the present.

“I Don’t Need Help… I Don’t Need Anyone”

“You’re leaving me. Abandoning me. What’s going to become of me, Anne?”
It’s frightening to be alone — yet Anthony clings to the belief that he doesn’t need help.

He fights with Anne. She knows he needs a carer. He refuses to believe it.

Later, he insists to “The Man” that he’s fine:
“I can manage on my own. I’m not completely—” (he makes the cuckoo sign).

He’s terribly confused.

Where is Anne?
“She’s gone down to buy some chicken.”

When she “returns,” it’s not Anne. Later we understand this “Anne” is his new carer in the nursing home.

“It’s been going on a long time… strange things around me,” he tells the woman who isn’t Anne.

He doesn’t trust his daughter. He tells “The Man”:
“She’s cooking something up. I suspect she wants to put me in one of those homes… I’m not leaving my flat!”

Who Is “The Man” in The Father’s Flat?

Yes, there’s a “Man” in his flat.
Is it his flat?
Why is the man (Mark Gatiss) there?

His “flat” is his mind — his collapsing identity.

This man is as cruel to Anthony as Anthony can be toward Anne. He says he’s Anne’s husband. Later he appears as a carer in the home. So who is he?

He’s the part of Anthony who berates himself for no longer being who he was.

His viciousness begins after Anthony snaps at his first female carer:
“You’re speaking to me as if I’m retarded. Well, I’m not… I’m very intelligent. I have a memory like an elephant.”

Then “The Man” turns on him:
“How long do you intend to hang around getting on everyone’s nerves?”

“Do you intend to go on ruining your daughter’s life?”
“Can you behave reasonably in the foreseeable future?”

He hits Anthony in the face — again and again — in Anthony’s mind.
This is Anthony’s own internalized self-hate made visible.

Anthony breaks down sobbing.

Anne tries to soothe him: “Is it about your watch?”
Yes — it’s about time.
Time lost. Time confused.

“Little Daddy… it’s okay. Come on, baby.”
But it’s not okay. Everything is mixed up.

“Little Daddy” & a Regression to “Little Boy”

“What do you think of this room? I think you’d be better off here.”

Anthony looks at Anne, confused:
“Where would you sleep?”
“Remember, I’m going to live in Paris.”

“No, you’re not… you said you’re staying here with me.”

They both cry. She walks away — the camera lingering on a sculpture of a broken face. Everything has shattered.

Anthony wakes in the room that isn’t his flat, with a strange nurse.
“Where’s Anne?”
“Remember, she lives in Paris.”
“No… no.”

His memory is gone. The elephant is no longer there.

“The Man” appears in the doorway.
“Who’s that?”
“That’s Bill. You see him every day.”

“And you are?”
“I’m Catherine.” (Olivia Williams)

“What about me? Who exactly am I?”

“You’re Anthony.”
“Anthony… that’s a nice name. My mother gave it to me.”
Then, through tears:
“I want my mommy. And I want to go home.”

He sobs.

“What is it, Anthony?”
“I feel like I’m losing all my leaves… I don’t know what’s happening. Do you?
But I know my watch is on my wrist… for the journey. If not, I don’t know if I’d be ready…”

It’s the last reminder of who he was.

Catherine puts her arm around him. Step by step, she gently orients him. He puts his head on her shoulder. She rocks him as he cries:

“Come on, baby. Shhh. I promise you — everything will be all right.”

Of course, we know it won’t.
And deep down, Anthony knows it too.
He’s feeling everything he’s already lost.