SOUND OF METAL: How Silence Stops a Man From Running

Ruben has been on the run for a long time. No one becomes a heroin addict unless there’s something too painful inside for him to stop, even for a moment, to hear (or feel). So Ruben runs — with drugs, frantic hard-metal drumming, and in his desperate love for his singer-girlfriend, Lou (Olivia Cooke).

Darius Marder’s Sound of Metal, with Riz Ahmed in the lead role, takes us on a journey like no other: the journey of a man faced with finding the silence inside — a silence that might lead him to his real self, if he can let it.

Ways to Run

There are many ways to run from yourself — away from something too painful to stop and feel. We don’t know for sure what that is for Ruben, but we can guess. His mom was a military nurse. He didn’t know his dad. They moved around a lot. It’s likely he never had a secure base of love or friendship.

When you’re insecure about love, scared all the time of failure or rejection, drugs are a tempting escape. When you’re high, you don’t feel. Or your feelings are so altered that you think you feel better than you do.

Cutting is another way to stop feelings. Your focus shifts to physical pain instead of emotional. Lou is a cutter — probably an addict, too. Her mom left her dad, and then she lost her mom to suicide.

Ruben and Lou desperately need each other. They have no one else. Living in the oneness of their love and music, in their cozy Airstream RV, they’ve created a certain kind of bliss — away from the realities of their inner lives and pasts.

As Lou sleeps, Ruben plays country/blues, cooks up a green smoothie, makes breakfast. They dance together in the narrow spaces inside. They’re happy.

Love can be another sort of drug.
Nothing interferes.
Until it does.

A Tragic Loss

Ruben’s a serious drummer. He and Lou are a heavy-metal band of two. On tour in Missouri, while the crowd roars, Ruben’s hearing suddenly goes in and out. He tries everything to pop his ears. At a pharmacy, he can’t even hear the pharmacist.

He rushes to a doctor: 28% hearing left in his right ear and 24% in his left — and dropping fast.

“How do I get it back?”
“The hearing you’ve lost is not coming back. Avoid loud noises.”

What?!

Ruben has to play to earn the $40–80k for implant surgery. It’s his only hope — and he has no idea it isn’t a cure.

When he can’t hear onstage and runs off, Lou follows. She tells him: “You can’t play. It isn’t safe.” He fights her.

They call Hector, Ruben’s sponsor. Soon they’re driving through beautiful country to a place Hector sends them. They meet Joe (Paul Raci), who runs a sober program for deaf addicts. Joe reads lips.

Joe, an alcoholic who lost his hearing in Vietnam, also lost his wife, his kids — everything — to beer, not deafness. He’s dedicated to helping others avoid the same fate.

Yet, losing your hearing — and your music — is devastating. And now, because Ruben must stay alone in the program, he’s terrified of losing Lou too.

Allowing Help

It’s not easy to accept help when you’ve depended on drugs, music, and love to silence your feelings. It’s especially hard when Joe tells Ruben that implants aren’t the answer:

“We’re looking for a solution to this (taps his head), not this (points to his ears).”

Ruben must commit to the program, learn sign language, and Lou can’t stay.

Lou’s face looks terrified — a fear that matches Ruben’s. They only have each other. Lou has nowhere else she feels safe. But when Ruben panics and breaks things, shouting: “I’m not going back to that place. What I need is a gun in my mouth,” she tells him he must stay. Then she leaves for the airport.

Ruben feels he can’t lose her. He begs:
“I need more of a plan, Lou. You hurt yourself, I hurt myself. You gotta promise. Wait for me. You’re my heart.”

Alone and despondent, he returns to Joe.

Joe’s goal for Ruben:
Learn how to be deaf.

Can he?

He learns sign language. Studies with Diane’s (Lauren Ridloff) kids. Teaches them to drum. Makes a friend, Jenn (Chelsea Lee). He even laughs again.

Yet he sneaks onto Joe’s computer to look for Lou.

Joe tries to teach him stillness: sit in a room with only coffee, a donut, pen and paper — and yourself. “It doesn’t matter what you write. Don’t stop. Keep writing until you can sit again.”

Stillness is terrifying when you’ve been running your whole life.
Silence brings up feelings you don’t want to feel.

The Power of Silence in Sound of Metal

Ruben tries. But he isn’t used to listening to himself without judgment.

The first day, he smashes his donut. He berates himself:
“Stupid… you fucking idiot.”

He paces.

But something shifts when he feels music through vibrations — “drumming” with the kids on a slide. He and a child speak to each other through the language of his old world.

Joe tells Ruben he’s become a valued part of the community and invites him to stay and work.

But Ruben can’t stop wanting Lou and his old life.
He finds her online recording an album.
He feels left behind — and that’s more than he can manage.

Jenn helps him — against her better judgment — to sell his RV and musical equipment. Ruben leaves a note for Joe and goes for the implant surgery he still believes will “fix” everything.

After surgery, he returns to Joe to tell him:
“I have to save my life. No one else will. If I disappear, who cares? No one cares.”

This is an old feeling — the kind that makes trust impossible.

Joe knows:
“Yes, the world can be a damn cruel place. But those moments of stillness — they never abandon you.”

Feeling alone without Lou, Ruben finds his way back to her. They love each other, but both have changed.

And the implants aren’t the answer.
Nothing sounds the same.
The static is overwhelming.
They can’t bring back his old life.

Stopping the Running

The next morning, Ruben sneaks away.

Sitting alone on a park bench, he disconnects the implant processors.

In the stillness, he begins to listen — not to the noise of the world, not to the noise inside him, but to something deeper.

The world looks clearer.
Quiet.
Beautiful.

For the first time, Ruben stops running.