People can be cruel. Even worse is having a voice of shame inside that makes you hang your head low and believe every word they say. That’s Edward in Aaron Schimberg’s A Different Man.

I know, I know. Aunt Gladys is supposed to be a witch in Zach Cregger’s new film, Weapons. But I have to say: What better example of a gaslighting narcissistic abuser could we possibly find?

Owen and Maddy can’t be who they are in Jane Schoenbrun‘s I Saw the TV Glow. Those reasons started in traumatic childhoods but are now inside themselves. For Owen, his dad’s control …

Something bad happened to Agnes in Eva Victor’s, Sorry, Baby. Yes, Sexual assault is bad. And, Agnes has the typical trauma responses: thinking and not thinking about it, confusion, disorientation …

Beau is Afraid in Ari Aster‘s psychologically complex horror film. He has good reasons to be afraid. Beau has a (very) scary mom. He’s frightened of making the “wrong” move or saying the “wrong” thing …

Materialists, written and directed by Celine Song, starring Dakota Johnson, Chris Evans, and Pedro Pascal, tells the story of how love isn’t easy when your childhood was hard …

Elizabeth Sparkle, an aging yet beautiful actress, hates herself. That’s why The Substance is a sad, gory story of a woman’s self-hate. Self-loathing always stems from early trauma. And both childhood trauma and self-hate are devastating.

Numbing pain is not a conscious choice. It’s a common survival strategy, a self-protection from emotional overwhelm, during and after trauma. And it is often passed down for generations. Take cousins Benji and Dave, for example, in Jesse Eisenberg’s film, A Real Pain.

David Lynch’s troubling and sexually violent 1986 film Blue Velvet reveals the corruption and dark impulses under what seems to be a white picket fence kind of purity and innocence. In Lynch’s signature style, this jolting movie strips bare the confusing urges and compulsions people live with related to desire, need, and what is or is not love.

What happens when love hurts you? In Payal Kapadia‘s All We Imagine as Light, Nurse Prabha’s sad, lonely, closed-up face tells us (almost) all we need to know. Prabha has been failed twice by love. No voice against an arranged marriage.

Why do people keep secrets? Mostly, shame, terror, fear of being found out, or a desire for power and control. Edgar Berger’s Conclave shows a struggle with secrets, past and present.

John M. Chu‘s 2024 film, Wicked, shows us in spades what happens to an abused child. That’s Elphaba. Abandoned. Shamed. Blamed. Rejected. Bullied. Shunned. Of course, rage fills Elphaba. It’s a terrible injustice to label her Wicked. Elphaba’s no different than many abused children. Hungry for love, she keeps her hurt bottled up. Caters to the wishes of others, “grateful” for scraps of attention. Until her rage explodes, with all the power Elphaba has.

Being who you are is the most important thing in the world. That often means change. But change isn’t about trying to make your old self disappear. Jacques Audiard’s Emilia Perez clearly shows how and why that doesn’t work.

Pain. We see that in Anora, Sean Baker’s raw and brutally poignant new film. Pain. Although Ani, the film’s main character does her best to hide her feelings, mostly from herself, no one becomes addicted to sex (or drugs or alcohol) if they aren’t trying to escape unbearable pain. Ani and Vanya don’t want to face the pain of lovelessness and hunger for love.

When you’ve already lost too much and live in fear of more loss, that can make you disconnect. This is where we find the three sisters in Azazel Jacobs‘s His Three Daughters. Disconnected.

Sadness matters. Especially after trauma. Every feeling matters — all the time. Feelings are normal and human. We all have them. Yet, do you – fight them?

Who chooses what’s “right” for you? In the best of worlds, you do. But, if you’re afraid to trust your own voice, it can be very hard to believe that. Especially when there are people in your life, and other voices inside, who tell you they know the right answers.

Loss can feel like a nowhere land of moving aimlessly from feeling to feeling, from place to place, inside your mind. Loss can make you feel like a lonely nomad. You’ve lost the home you know, with a person that you love.

Jane Campion’s chilling film, The Power of the Dog, has much to say about the adage that what we hate in others is what we can’t accept in ourselves. And wow, does the character of Phil Burbank spell that axiom out in spades.

CODA, written and directed by Siân Heder, is a beautiful, heartwarming coming-of-age film with a happy ending. Not all difficult stories about trying to have your own life in the face of someone who needs you (read: your parents) end with so much understanding, acceptance, and support.