COME WITH ME: Can that Voice on the Radio Stop Simon’s Shame?

Aug 27

It’s not the home invasion that sets Simon’s chilling downfall into motion in Aaron Harvey’s Come with Me. It’s not Dalton Kirby’s voice on the radio, either. It all starts with Simon’s shame. Shame that’s lived inside him, I’d bet, since childhood. Shame that eats away at him. Shame he can’t escape. Shame that makes him compare himself and never measure up. Shame that every humiliation preys upon. Shame that Simon numbs until one humiliation too many devastates him and takes over. The home invasion is just the tip of the iceberg. The thing that starts to melt Simon’s numbness. The trigger for everything. His helplessness. Not feeling like a strong enough man. Yes. His shame. The invasion of all those bad feelings about himself he’s been fighting off for a long time. And then there’s Dalton Kirby’s producer. The final straw that drives Simon over the edge...

How Shame Takes Simon Over

Shame is quiet. It lives deep inside you. But if you make a life for yourself, your shame might not show its face for a while. You build a little confidence. You have a decent job. Someone loves you, like Rebecca (Kate French). You have a best friend, someone who gets you, like Gary (Ronnie Gene Blevins). Yes, Simon (Theo Rossi) has all that until a series of unfortunate events uproot him, and the shame he thought was gone takes him over.

Yes, there was that fight with Dave (Michael Sirow). Simon can get triggered. He didn’t get promoted to foreman. That was a blow. Dave is a bully. Just like the humiliating voice that lives in Simon’s mind. Simon does his best to numb that voice. He dissociates, as traumatized people do. Even with the home invasion, he looks calm (but locked up inside). He shows little emotion. Doesn’t get upset. Reassures Rebecca, “We’ll get through this,” when she’s reacting and angry. Simon keeps a tight hold on himself to manage his feelings.

We watch him working out with weights, heavy weights, listening to the voice on the radio, Dalton Kirby’s (Ron Perlman) voice. The one who spews “The Truth.” That’s the way Simon manages his shame. His deep self-doubt. But this home invasion? It makes him feel vulnerable. It makes him feel that maybe he’s weak. It stirs up that humiliating voice in his head. Because when you’re vulnerable, you’re scared.

So, Simon feels he isn’t a man.

Why the Radio Voice Seduces Him

“The world needs a villain”

When you’re vulnerable to humiliation, and there’s a bully around, you need someone who gets you, someone who understands your plight. But you can also get very mixed up. You might even mistake a voice of conviction (like Dalton Kirby’s smooth-talking voice) for someone who can help you solve all the problems that are trying to take you down. “The system,” that voice on the radio says, “robs you of life. And that is the Truth.” Simon is desperate. Helpless. Angry. Really angry. He begins to feel Dalton Kirby is his friend, especially after Gary kills himself. When Dalton Kirby says, “Come with Me,” Simon does.

Yes, the system took Simon’s only friend. Now he’s lost. Lonely. Empty. Alienated. And so, so scared that he can’t even envision a life with Rebecca. Yes. Simon feels so empty that he can’t think of building anything for himself. He keeps running into roadblocks. He’s full of shame for not being the man he thinks he “should” be. He doesn’t know who to trust.

“America, America, land of the free ... I’m your host, Dalton Kirby, and I’m here to give you the uncensored, unbiased truth ...We are a nation ... [with] one untold truth; this world always needs a villain.” This stands out to Simon. Dalton Kirby says a lot of confusing stuff about who that villain is. Us? The working man? The man who wants to acquire things? Should Simon feel guilty about what he wants and needs? That’s an awful thing. But one thing is clear. Simon knows a villain when he sees one.

And that villain is Dave.

A Humiliating Voice in His Head

Dave is not only a bully. And he certainly is that. But to Simon’s shame, he’s a reminder of everything Simon feels he is not. A hard-working man. A family man. A man whose presence humiliates him. Not to mention Dave’s very real emotional abuse.

The voice that’s always tearing Simon down. Telling him he’s not a man. “So, we’re just back to coming in whenever we want? Jesus Christ Ward, this isn’t fucking day camp.”

Dave is mean. Insensitive. Doesn’t care about Gary and his sick daughter. Nor when his daughter dies. Nor about Gary killing himself. Certainly not about Simon’s feelings. It’s hard enough for Simon to express his feelings. But he cares about Gary. His best friend is suffering. He wants to be sure he’s ok. Sure, Simon lies to the new boss, Will (Chris Mullinax), to leave work to check on Gary. He doesn’t think anyone will understand. He can already hear Dave mocking him. Dave makes Simon feel really, really bad.

Dave is the humiliating voice in Simon’s head that he ultimately wants to kill. He has to get the voice out of his head somehow. Make it stop. That voice that constantly points out his deficiencies. And then there’s the voice on the radio that fills his head with ideas. To: Blame Other People. Blame The System. The voice that says to: Come with Me. Dalton Kirby is a voice of hate for the system that produces all Simon’s emptiness. “We’re afraid to fight back sometimes; I think this whole thing needs to come down ... You can’t even be passive about it. That’s when someone will rise and throw their body upon the gears and wheels ... and make it stop. We’ve got to make it stop.”

Simon must make it stop.

Sores Festering Under the Surface

The pain needs to stop. The sores. From old losses too that must be there from childhood for Simon to be so scared. So full of shame. So vulnerable to humiliation.

So angry.

Dalton Kirby’s voice on the radio says it straight out, “We need to openly discuss the sores festering under the surface.” Sure, society has them. But what are we really talking about here? The sores that fester deep inside Simon. Simon’s hurting. Really bad. “Rebecca, there’s a lot of shit happening out there right now. I’m just saying. Now doesn’t seem like the right time to bring a child into this fucked up world we live in ...

So, he turns to this voice on the radio. To guns. Not to people who love him. Who might help him. He blames the system. He blames Dave. He turns away from Rebecca. A family. A home. “Sometimes when words don’t work, all that’s left is the constitution of one man’s soul. His conviction.” That’s what Dalton Kirby says. What is Simon’s conviction? His soul is hurt. He watches Gary. The gun guy who, below the surface, is in pain. Not ready to lose his baby girl. Sobbing. Simon doesn’t know what to do. Either does Gary: “If there’s a God, he doesn’t give a shit about us. He never did.” Simon tries to comfort Gary. He really does. But he isn’t so good with his own feelings. With his own sores festering under his surface.

So. What can he do? You can’t change something you can’t control. “It’s broken, isn’t it? How is it that you limit care to a little girl because her insurance doesn’t cover it? How is that a thing? Now she’s gone. I did everything I could for her. But all that’s left is an empty room and a fuck ton of debt. And I hate it.” Gary sobs. Simon can’t.

Simon’s shut down.

Impossible Grief. Impossible Losses.

Before he dies, Gary drinks. A lot. Simon tries, but he can’t help. He sits with Gary and his beer. Gary says, “Something’s got to be done about this lawn. It’s dead, man.” He laughs, but it isn’t funny. That’s what despair does to you. Your impossible grief. Everything feels dead. Now Gary’s dead too. By his own hand. Simon couldn’t stop that. Gary was his best friend. His only friend? Gary knew how to be safe. Guns made him safe. He protected his family. But guns took Gary’s life. Intentional. Quick. Final. When the pain was too much. When Gary, too, blamed himself for not having the insurance for his daughter to survive.

But Dalton Kirby says everyone holds responsibility. So maybe it isn’t all Simon’s fault? He’s not sure. He did his best. Even lied to Will to check on Gary, who didn’t call in again. And he has no idea, when Gary says, “I’ll see you tomorrow,” that he won’t. He loved Gary. But can Simon trust love? No. Love is fragile for Simon. He doesn’t trust love. He’s suspicious of Rebecca’s relationship with her co-worker, Corey (Barron Boedecker). And that makes him scared. Shut down. Alienated from her. Does anyone really love him? What’s the answer when you feel so vulnerable you can’t stand it? How do you not get so close to despair, like Gary did, that despair could take you out?

You get stronger, right?

Becoming A Stronger Man

Simon works out like crazy. Getting his body rock hard. Armoring himself up against feeling anything. Especially any vulnerability to life, or the system failing him. “The apocalypse,” as Dalton Kirby seems to be predicting. For him, that personal apocalypse would come from being a weak man. So. He’s practicing shooting a gun in the mirror, looking like a killer, a silent one. With no feeling. Reminiscent of Chighur in No Country for Old Men. At least he’s trying to be an unfeeling man, even though he’s not. The guns. He needs them. Needs to get good. He keeps shooting. Working out. Practicing. As Simon’s terror gets worse and worse, Dalton Kirby’s voice rings louder in his ear.

“Good morning, Gulf Coast 6 listeners, and welcome to The Nation. The only show that tells the Truth. The only show asking the Big Questions. And finding the Big Answers. Answers they don’t want you to hear. Answers about what’s really happening in America. I’m your host, Dalton Kirby. And I’m here to give you the unbiased, uncensored Truth.”

This is how the radio voice seduces Simon. Come with Me. That voice is so sure of himself. Simon is floundering. Feeling less and less like a man. Lost. Helpless. Confused. Overwhelmed with fear. About survival. About being a father. About being alone in the world without his best friend. Working out like crazy. Building muscle. Trying to be tough. Tougher than he feels. Gary seemed confident too. With his guns. Guns must be it, right? They must be what makes you feel safe. Even though Gary was fragile too. Not able to hold on to himself when he lost his daughter. And now he’s gone, consumed by the unfairness of the healthcare system.

That’s what Dalton Kirby says too, about injustice.

But Dalton Kirby says there’s a WAY out. And Simon needs a lifeline. Chooses the wrong one, though. The one who bottles “Truth” and sells it to the vulnerable. For listeners. For profit. “There are a lot of bad people out there trying to get us.” Until Simon has a run-in with Dalton Kirby’s producer, he thinks the voice on the radio will save him...

“I Need You to Listen to Me”

Gary’s gone. Simon only has himself. His confused self. He thought he had Dalton Kirby. Thought he was a sympatico soul. Someone he could talk to. Maybe someone who does understand. Someone with some power to turn things around. Make them better.

So. After Gary dies, and Angie (Marion Kerr) gives him Gary’s arsenal of guns, all Simon wants to do is talk to Dalton Kirby. To be heard. To have someone who listens. To not be alone. To fill a space where Gary is not. But when he goes to the radio station, the producer, Peter Ellis (Jay Huguley), thinks he’s doing something wrong. Is scared of him. Scared? He’s not doing anything wrong. He just wants to talk. About his admiration. Their shared views. He needs a friend. But Ellis calls security. Misjudges him. HUMILIATES HIM. “I need you to listen to me!” But no one listens. Simon’s thrown out. Slapped with a restraining order. “I didn’t do anything wrong.”

Now. The only answer is to get stronger.

Simon is afraid. Broken. Dalton Kirby infused him with a sense of power over his fear he didn’t have before. “Look what they did, look what they did, they turned the American dream into a trap.” Come with Me. But now he can’t even trust Dalton Kirby. A man he considered a friend. And. The next morning, there’s his voice on the radio…

When Love Isn’t Enough

It’s not going so well with Rebecca either. They’ve been alienated since he said this is no world to bring a child into. And he’s more terrified after he’s kicked out of Dalton Kirby’s studio. He feels more alone. He doesn’t trust Dalton now either. He doesn’t trust anyone. Yes, the world is a scary place. Dalton Kirby says so. Now he scares Rebecca. With Gary’s guns: “Where did you get those guns?” “They’re Gary’s. I feel compelled to protect us.”

“From what?” “Them.” “Them?” “Those assholes who want to hurt us. Those people who broke into our home.” Rebecca’s pregnant. And. Simon is even more scared. “No one’s looking after us. No one cares about us.” This is how he’s felt his whole life. Now, he has to take care of a family. His fear. Shame. Humiliation. Are triggered even more by Dalton Kirby’s rejection. He tries. He does. But he dissociates at an ultrasound appointment, as he listens to the baby’s heartbeat. He’s terrified. Of real live responsibility. He’s not there. He’s thinking about revenge for all the ways he’s been told he can’t measure up.

And then we hear a voice that sounds like Simon’s voice outside of himself, but really inside his mind, saying, “Thanks for being a voice, an unafraid voice, that speaks the truth, especially on times like these. Everything is so broken…” Simon is far from unafraid. Yes. Simon is broken. Broken by fear. By all the humiliation and the humiliators. He can’t get them out of his mind. They are the sores that have to go.

Love isn’t enough to solve that.

Taking Down His Humiliators

The villains

“I need you to listen to me.” That’s the cry of a desperate man. A misunderstood man. A man whose feelings and needs aren’t seen. How Dave gets angry. Now Simon’s resentful. All he wanted to do was check on Gary. He tracks Dave to a bar. Simon has a gun. He doesn’t use it. But then there’s the restraining order. Humiliation in front of his boss. Being taken off the schedule when he has a baby coming. More shame. “But I didn’t do anything.” And he didn’t. Not really. He only pushed back at Ellison, who was another man humiliating him. And now, Will is telling him, “Buddy, I get it.” But that’s not how Simon feels. If he got it, he wouldn’t deprive him of what he needs right now. A job and income. It’s the last humiliation. “Fuck you. I quit.” He can’t tell Rebecca. This is the final straw... It pushes him over the edge. No one gets it.

People keep breaking him more...

Simon makes a “goodbye dinner” for Rebecca. Lies to her about work. He’s cavalier. He can’t talk or open up. Not to anyone. He lives with the sores inside. How broken and wounded he is. He hides. Pretends. Acts strangely. Asks if she’s happy. He’s not. There is no openness or love between them. Just alienation. Which neither of them needs.

Building more muscle. Working out hard. But crying into his towel. Trying to get stronger to protect himself against his incredible vulnerability. In the morning before Simon leaves, he looks at Rebecca, sleeping openly and innocently in bed. He picks up a gun and loads it… Well, he’ll take matters into his own hands. He wants to kill Dave. He’s the villain. The humiliator. So, he goes to work. Threatens a terrified Dave with his gun. “You’re what’s wrong with this world, not me.” He turns the gun on Will, who tells him to put it down. “I can’t.” Wielding power he doesn’t feel he has. “No one listens anymore. Sees what I see. You’re the fucking problem.” Humiliation is the problem. “He [Dave the humiliator] needs to be held accountable.” Dave pleads. Terrified. Simon’s putting his terror into Dave. Will’s trying to help. “Hey buddy, do you realize what you’re doing?” Simon can’t allow help. He doesn’t trust help. Dalton Kirby betrayed his trust. Simon leaves: “Don’t follow me.”

He sobs in his car. He panics. He’s rocking. Hyperventilating. Trapped. There’s nowhere to go. No way out of this. Beating his hands against the steering wheel. Punching his jaw. He’s helpless again. The system castrated him. Took away everything that would make him feel like someone. That “system” that develops out of childhood trauma. The shame he can’t escape. Of being no one. But. Wait. NO. He’s mastered the bullseye.

Remember?!

The voice of Dalton Kirby fills the radio again: “Once you’ve made that decision, you pull that trigger, you become a member of The Nation… you’ll have access to podcasts, special interviews.” But Dalton Kirby has made Simon feel he needs to pull a different trigger. “The Truth” was lies. Dalton Kirby made false promises. He said: “This world is getting crazier and crazier. Folks, it seems there’s nothing left for us to do … we need more insurrection … it starts with you …”

And there he is, face-to-face with Simon Ward.

**Sadly, Simon Takes Himself Out ...**

Shocked, Dalton Kirby says, “We’re both Truth seekers. Maybe we should just sit down and talk it out like two men. But Simon says, “There is no truth.” And he shoots him.

But. No. That is only Simon’s fantasy. It’s one way Come with Me might have ended.

But, No. It’s Simon who is shot. Simon who has sacrificed himself at the hand of his humiliators. At the hand of a voice on the radio that seduced him into “Coming with HIM.” Shot by Carl (Aaron Quick Nelson), the security guard, who threw him out when he only wanted a friend. And. Now. Dalton Kirby calls him, on the radio, “a sicko fucking lunatic [who] tried to take me out.” Yelling into his microphone. “This is why we have a right to bear arms!”

Simon chokes on his own blood. On shame and anger at everyone who has humiliated him. Slumped against a wall, a streak of blood, glaring red above his head. Dying. Still helpless. Looking like Christ crucified on the cross. The Cross of a voice that betrayed him. Leaving Rebecca. Grieving. A baby without a dad. Sacrificing himself and his future. Not for love, but for rage. Rage at unbearable losses. Rage at humiliation.

Rage at the voice that made for tough walls.

A special thanks to Justine Browning for early access to this brilliant and timely film.

Sandra Cohen