I know, I know. Aunt Gladys is supposed to be a witch in Zach Cregger’s new film, Weapons. But I have to say: What better example of a gaslighting narcissistic abuser could we possibly find? As well as the devastating effects when you’re caught in that horrible situation.

Owen and Maddy can’t be who they are in Jane Schoenbrun‘s I Saw the TV Glow. Those reasons started in traumatic childhoods but are now inside themselves. For Owen, his dad’s control and lack of acceptance. He doesn’t even try to “get” Owen. If Owen expresses interest, like in the Pink Opaque, he humiliates him: “Isn’t that a show for girls?” How could Owen reveal his feelings?

Something bad happened to Agnes in Eva Victor’s, Sorry, Baby. Yes, Sexual assault is bad. And, Agnes has the typical trauma responses: thinking and not thinking about it, confusion, disorientation, depression, and hyperalert distrust. Yet, watching this film as a psychoanalyst who treats trauma, I have to say that something bad also happened to Agnes…

Beau is Afraid in Ari Aster‘s psychologically complex horror film. He has good reasons to be afraid. Beau has a (very) scary mom. He’s frightened of making the “wrong” move or saying the “wrong” thing. He lives in a constant reel of dissociated (terrifying) feelings. Mostly, his rage. Beau has no choice but to project his aggression, and this makes the world a crazy, violent place. Beau is Afraid. He’s meek, passive, and oh-too-apologetic.

Materialists, written and directed by Celine Song, starring Dakota Johnson, Chris Evans, and Pedro Pascal, tells the story of how love isn’t easy when your childhood was hard (with a little matchmaking mixed in).

Sexual abuse is serious. A rift with your mom is too, in Dying for Sex, Episode 8. But “It’s Not That Serious” when you can let in more love and finally embrace what you want. That’s what Molly does when she admits she needs her mom and is brave enough to find her own way…

Even grumpy Nurse Ernie knows (in Dying for Sex Episode 7, You’re Killing Me Ernie): Love heals. So, he (sort of) turns his head and begrudgingly lets Molly invite Neighbor Guy into her room after visiting hours to achieve “her goal.”

Molly makes the best of Stage 4 Metastatic cancer in Dying for Sex Episode 6, Happy Holidays. (Of course, the cannabis therapy doesn’t hurt, along with Nikki and Sonya, both high too (at least on celebrating Molly). Her life. Who she is. Partying it up to celebrate the fact she’s still alive, 1 year after…

Why is it sometimes preferable to have a pet? Dying for Sex Episode 5, My Pet, offers us a good example (as in Molly’s Barking Man/Pet). Pet doesn’t say you’re wrong, violate you, or tell your secrets (namely, Steve, Molly’s abuser, and her mom). Yes, it’s quite difficult for Molly to let her guard down. Yet, when there’s someone who shares his feelings (and cares), maybe Molly can be vulnerable too. For her, surprisingly (and, maybe for us, too?), that’s Neighbor Guy …

Dying for Sex Episode 4: Topping is a Sacred Skill reveals one thing you don’t have when you’re sexually abused as a child, and that’s: power. Your abuser has the power. You? You have no control. You’re scared, helpless, and you go away, go dead, shut down your desire, just like Molly did. If you’re that child, you don’t have any power over all of your overwhelming feelings.

Dying for Sex Episode 3 shows us one major reason feelings can become amplified. It’s when reality hits hard after you’ve been avoiding reality for a very long time because it’s too painful to feel. And, for Molly, all those unwanted feelings are helped along by Dr. P’s new concoction of pharmaceuticals to go “full attack mode” against the cancer (just as hard as reality attacks her). So, finding out what she “loves” sexually has a lot to do with all the things Molly can’t control.

Molly said, “No More.” She left Steve in Dying for Sex, Episode 1. That’s the first step. But – it doesn’t answer the question: “What does Molly want?” And, that’s one of the hardest questions for someone scared after sexual abuse and used to shutting down her needs. So, what does Molly want?

Molly’s scared to feel. In Dying for Sex Episode 1, childhood sexual abuse is the reason. But there’s more than being numb to her feelings. She can’t say no or put herself first. Not quite yet. She puts herself aside, caters to the needs of others, is scared of her feelings, and is terrified to speak up. Molly went numb. She had to. That’s part of childhood sexual abuse.